I started the day with a job that I wasn't happy with...but at least it was a job. I ended the day...without a job. I was supposed to be trained to be the compliance assistant...a process that takes 6 months to a year to complete...as it turns out...they have decided that they don't have time to train...they want someone who has experience in compliance, is fully trained, has taken all of the tests, and can step in and take it over now. So...Monday begins a new job search.
I'm tired...and I am all out of words.
Be Well
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Slide on the ice...
Tomorrow is Friday!! Thank you Lord! We're in the home stretch now guys!! Pull down your pants and slide on the ice!!!
Be Well!
Be Well!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Nostalgia...
Today was long. My mind kept wandering...back through the years. As hard as just 'being' was when we were children...I always thought that the bonds that kept us going through it all...would last forever. Somehow, along the way, my brother and sister have drifted off...I miss them.
For Ran and Toby…
Reminiscing softly…the past we didn’t have
Childhood lost to monsters in the night…
Fending off the demons, hand in hand,
Protecting each the other…fought the fight.
Much has come and gone with years
Love brought down the ugly walls…
Banished are those dark and lonely fears
Time worked its magic on us all.
To the darkness…I gladly bid farewell
With a joy my soul cannot contain…
But your voices and your presence
In my heart…forever will remain.
I miss the bond of love
Shared…all through those years
I miss your closeness,
Though I do not miss the tears.
If someday…again you need me...
Just know that this is true
I’ll be right here waiting…
It’s all that I can do.
Copyright©2006 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved.
Be Well!
For Ran and Toby…
Reminiscing softly…the past we didn’t have
Childhood lost to monsters in the night…
Fending off the demons, hand in hand,
Protecting each the other…fought the fight.
Much has come and gone with years
Love brought down the ugly walls…
Banished are those dark and lonely fears
Time worked its magic on us all.
To the darkness…I gladly bid farewell
With a joy my soul cannot contain…
But your voices and your presence
In my heart…forever will remain.
I miss the bond of love
Shared…all through those years
I miss your closeness,
Though I do not miss the tears.
If someday…again you need me...
Just know that this is true
I’ll be right here waiting…
It’s all that I can do.
Copyright©2006 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved.
Be Well!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Sedgwick County Zoo...
We spent the afternoon and evening at Marvin’s company picnic, a good time was had by all! The temperatures were in the mid 70’s all afternoon, and it was perfect for wandering around watching the animals! I had heard so much about the elephants and their paintings, but I had never been privileged to see them do it before! Today, we watched Stephanie, a 35 year old elephant, actually paint! It was very cool! Both of the elephants were in fine form and were absolutely endearing!! I have always had a soft spot for elephants though…so perhaps endearing is in the eye of the beholder. We saw everything…and walked forever!
Around 5:30, the company served Bar B Q for dinner. I normally have a difficult time getting to know people, but a very nice couple (the wife works closely with Marvin in the office) sat down at our table and struck up a conversation with us! Before we knew it, we were chatting and laughing and really enjoying their company!
Shortly before dinner, the temperature had begun to drop, and by the time we were finished eating, we had begun to shiver! People began to disburse quickly! I think it could have gone on for another hour or so…if there had been coffee and hot chocolate! We got some nice shots of things that we saw today, and I have posted them above!
Be Well!
I found this poem this morning...it is beautiful! I just wanted to share!!
To Daffadills
Faire Daffadills, we weep to see
You haste away so soone:
As yet the early-rising Sun
Has not attain'd his Noone.
Stay, stay,
Untill the hasting day
Has run
But to the Even-song;
And, having pray'd together, we
Will goe with you along.
We have short time to stay, as you,
We have as short a Spring;
As quick a growth to meet Decay,
As you, or any thing
We die,
As your hours doe, and drie
Away,
Like to the Summeres raine;
Or as the pearles of Mornings dew,
Ne'er to be found again.
Robert Herrick.
Catch ya on the flip side!
Be Well!
To Daffadills
Faire Daffadills, we weep to see
You haste away so soone:
As yet the early-rising Sun
Has not attain'd his Noone.
Stay, stay,
Untill the hasting day
Has run
But to the Even-song;
And, having pray'd together, we
Will goe with you along.
We have short time to stay, as you,
We have as short a Spring;
As quick a growth to meet Decay,
As you, or any thing
We die,
As your hours doe, and drie
Away,
Like to the Summeres raine;
Or as the pearles of Mornings dew,
Ne'er to be found again.
Robert Herrick.
Catch ya on the flip side!
Be Well!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Looooooong day.....
After the longest day ever…it was thankfully time to go home!! Eggs, pancakes, and bacon for supper, then chores!
Marvin closed the pool for the season while I gave my bamboo plant a clean vase and fresh rocks, emptied all of the trashes, pulled the cart to the curb, and swept the kitchen!
A productive evening all around!
About 7:30, I headed out for my evening walk. Determined to stay the course tonight, I cranked up the tunes and, for the first time since my bathtub acrobatics, went the entire distance! I was limping by the last couple of blocks…but this too shall pass! I feel really good that I didn’t wienie out on the last third of my usual route (like I have been), but I am pooped out!
A summary of the week thus far…work sucks…but the time after work has been great! Fabulous temperatures…sunshine…lots of fresh air dancing through the house…those things combined always energize me!! I love this time of year! I am so looking forward to the fall colors, as summer says goodbye. I am so NOT looking forward to the gray…blustery…frigid days ahead…when winter says hello. Although, I must admit, the thought of that first glittering snowfall…is nice.
Be Well!
Would you…
If you could..
In the course of a day…
Influence a child
In a positive way…
Make someone’s life
Seem better somehow…
Help them to see
Beyond here and now…
Rid your own soul
Of idiot fray…
Squash every moron
Who gets in your way…
Would you in fact
Effect all these things…
Or is there contentment
That imagining brings?
Copyright©2006 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved
Marvin closed the pool for the season while I gave my bamboo plant a clean vase and fresh rocks, emptied all of the trashes, pulled the cart to the curb, and swept the kitchen!
A productive evening all around!
About 7:30, I headed out for my evening walk. Determined to stay the course tonight, I cranked up the tunes and, for the first time since my bathtub acrobatics, went the entire distance! I was limping by the last couple of blocks…but this too shall pass! I feel really good that I didn’t wienie out on the last third of my usual route (like I have been), but I am pooped out!
A summary of the week thus far…work sucks…but the time after work has been great! Fabulous temperatures…sunshine…lots of fresh air dancing through the house…those things combined always energize me!! I love this time of year! I am so looking forward to the fall colors, as summer says goodbye. I am so NOT looking forward to the gray…blustery…frigid days ahead…when winter says hello. Although, I must admit, the thought of that first glittering snowfall…is nice.
Be Well!
Would you…
If you could..
In the course of a day…
Influence a child
In a positive way…
Make someone’s life
Seem better somehow…
Help them to see
Beyond here and now…
Rid your own soul
Of idiot fray…
Squash every moron
Who gets in your way…
Would you in fact
Effect all these things…
Or is there contentment
That imagining brings?
Copyright©2006 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved
Monday, September 18, 2006
Slow down...
Here it is...blue Monday again. Mercifully, it's over. However, not before I was yelled at by the president of our clearing house...and not before I hurled a nasty (though tactful) remark about him in the direction of one of the partners...and then found out that they are personal friends. I have a knack for inopportune moments...I'm remembering the Bobby Love incident...!
Don’t run so fast...
Sometimes, in the blur of the day
We lose our will to find the way…
If indeed, it matters at all,
It’s in the handwriting…on the wall.
Lost in the swirl of do’s and don’ts,
Straddling the fence of will’s and won’ts…
Anxiety reigns, have we lost or won,
In the master plan, it’s already done.
So why do we bother to shed these tears
To fret, and panic, and struggle for years…
The decision is made…the dye is cast
Slow down…don’t run so fast.
Copyright©2006 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved.
Don’t run so fast...
Sometimes, in the blur of the day
We lose our will to find the way…
If indeed, it matters at all,
It’s in the handwriting…on the wall.
Lost in the swirl of do’s and don’ts,
Straddling the fence of will’s and won’ts…
Anxiety reigns, have we lost or won,
In the master plan, it’s already done.
So why do we bother to shed these tears
To fret, and panic, and struggle for years…
The decision is made…the dye is cast
Slow down…don’t run so fast.
Copyright©2006 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
A great weekend!!
We arrived in Kansas City Friday evening around 9:30! On the way there, we decided to play with my new GPS…who I had nicknamed Lydia. As we entered the KC area…she told us where to turn and how far to go…every few minutes. Shane began to turn the opposite direction deliberately to see what it would do! It was hilarious…and a bit scary!
She knew EXACTLY where we were, each time we turned…even after a hasty ‘U’ turn in the middle of a street!!
Saturday was spent shopping and eating! We enjoyed both tremendously! We found a new outdoor mall called “Legends” that we had never been to, and by the time we left, I had a sweater, Chas had several kitchen items, Shane had a shirt, and Candy had TWO pairs of shoes (you go girl)!! We ate lunch at a place called “Cheeseburger Paradise” apparently somehow affiliated with Jimmy Buffet (not a football player). The food was great, and the entertainment was awesome! A strolling balloon aficionado stopped by our table and made a huge pair of lips with a large pink balloon tongue coming out between them (all fastened on to a balloon ‘hat’, for the birthday boy (Shane), and then we watched him manufacture a parrot, several monkeys, a jayhawk, a ‘Dr Seuss’ like hat, a brain sucking alien, and a host of other things…for other patrons! He was amazing!
The rest of the afternoon consisted of more shopping (at an indoor mall). Then, Birthday dinner at Cheesecake Factory, and back to the hotel. It was about 8:00 when we arrived back at the hotel, and we were all pretty tired. Chas went on up to the room to shower and rest a bit, but the rest of us (having gotten a second wind on the ride back) went for a walk on the plaza! What a great place! Lots of great shops, street performers, and freaks!! We wound down around 9:15, went back to the room and watched a bit of TV, ate some of the best birthday cake in the world, then hit the sack late.
We headed out for breakfast and the ride home around 10:00 this morning. The ride home was a lot longer than the ride there…as we were all tired and not looking forward to the chores that awaited us at home.
That brings us to now…5:58 P.M. Sunday evening. Upon our arrival, we dug right in, and in 2 ½ hours, we had dusted, vacuumed, shampooed the living room, hallway and upstairs carpets, unpacked, cleaned out the fridge, done laundry, and put dinner in the oven!
It was a really nice weekend! I thoroughly enjoyed it all! We needed some fun, ‘down time’ and we got it! The rest of the month is booked…office picnic, Michael W Smith Concert, Rolling Stones Concert…then October begins…already half full as well, culminating with Arkalalah on October 26th! The next few weeks/months will pass in a flurry of activity!
I have to end this post with an observation…from the heart. Every time we are privileged to spend time with our kids…I am reminded again of how blessed we are! As our kids were growing up, they were great! Kind, sweet, intelligent, wonderful kids! They have become adults…in what seems to have been ‘the blink of an eye’. They have both grown into the most responsible, sweet, kind, thoughtful, successful, fun loving, and ‘fabulous to be with’ adults that I have ever known! We are blessed beyond belief!
Be Well!
She knew EXACTLY where we were, each time we turned…even after a hasty ‘U’ turn in the middle of a street!!
Saturday was spent shopping and eating! We enjoyed both tremendously! We found a new outdoor mall called “Legends” that we had never been to, and by the time we left, I had a sweater, Chas had several kitchen items, Shane had a shirt, and Candy had TWO pairs of shoes (you go girl)!! We ate lunch at a place called “Cheeseburger Paradise” apparently somehow affiliated with Jimmy Buffet (not a football player). The food was great, and the entertainment was awesome! A strolling balloon aficionado stopped by our table and made a huge pair of lips with a large pink balloon tongue coming out between them (all fastened on to a balloon ‘hat’, for the birthday boy (Shane), and then we watched him manufacture a parrot, several monkeys, a jayhawk, a ‘Dr Seuss’ like hat, a brain sucking alien, and a host of other things…for other patrons! He was amazing!
The rest of the afternoon consisted of more shopping (at an indoor mall). Then, Birthday dinner at Cheesecake Factory, and back to the hotel. It was about 8:00 when we arrived back at the hotel, and we were all pretty tired. Chas went on up to the room to shower and rest a bit, but the rest of us (having gotten a second wind on the ride back) went for a walk on the plaza! What a great place! Lots of great shops, street performers, and freaks!! We wound down around 9:15, went back to the room and watched a bit of TV, ate some of the best birthday cake in the world, then hit the sack late.
We headed out for breakfast and the ride home around 10:00 this morning. The ride home was a lot longer than the ride there…as we were all tired and not looking forward to the chores that awaited us at home.
That brings us to now…5:58 P.M. Sunday evening. Upon our arrival, we dug right in, and in 2 ½ hours, we had dusted, vacuumed, shampooed the living room, hallway and upstairs carpets, unpacked, cleaned out the fridge, done laundry, and put dinner in the oven!
It was a really nice weekend! I thoroughly enjoyed it all! We needed some fun, ‘down time’ and we got it! The rest of the month is booked…office picnic, Michael W Smith Concert, Rolling Stones Concert…then October begins…already half full as well, culminating with Arkalalah on October 26th! The next few weeks/months will pass in a flurry of activity!
I have to end this post with an observation…from the heart. Every time we are privileged to spend time with our kids…I am reminded again of how blessed we are! As our kids were growing up, they were great! Kind, sweet, intelligent, wonderful kids! They have become adults…in what seems to have been ‘the blink of an eye’. They have both grown into the most responsible, sweet, kind, thoughtful, successful, fun loving, and ‘fabulous to be with’ adults that I have ever known! We are blessed beyond belief!
Be Well!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Downs...and Ups.....
This has been a long, tired, but productive week! Here are the highlights and lowlights!
-Low light-The cable guy came to Shane’s house this evening to install cable at the other end of his newly renovated bedroom…and broke a water pipe under the house.
+High light - Shane’s bedroom looks fantastic! After two days of work (that’s with all three of us…he actually worked on it for a couple more days before we got there), it is an amazing transformation! I have always thought it was a really cute house! But it’s even better now!
-Low light – I had a ‘set back’ that I honestly thought might land me in the hospital by Thursday afternoon. The pain was severe.
+High light - After two doses of meds…I am good to go again. Moral: Don’t stop taking your meds because you feel better…take them until they are gone.
-Low light – I had an interview for a possible position as a copy writer. Unfortunately, the company looks very ‘temporary’. It would not surprise me if they disappeared in the night sometime. Probably not a good place to risk our financial future.
+High light – I had an interview for a possible position as a copy writer. They said that they thought the sample that I wrote for them was excellent! Maybe there is hope yet, that I will someday make a living doing what I love to do!
Tomorrow is Friday!! Yea!!! By this time tomorrow evening, we will be almost in Kansas City for the weekend! We all need some down time…some FUN down time!!
Be well!
-Low light-The cable guy came to Shane’s house this evening to install cable at the other end of his newly renovated bedroom…and broke a water pipe under the house.
+High light - Shane’s bedroom looks fantastic! After two days of work (that’s with all three of us…he actually worked on it for a couple more days before we got there), it is an amazing transformation! I have always thought it was a really cute house! But it’s even better now!
-Low light – I had a ‘set back’ that I honestly thought might land me in the hospital by Thursday afternoon. The pain was severe.
+High light - After two doses of meds…I am good to go again. Moral: Don’t stop taking your meds because you feel better…take them until they are gone.
-Low light – I had an interview for a possible position as a copy writer. Unfortunately, the company looks very ‘temporary’. It would not surprise me if they disappeared in the night sometime. Probably not a good place to risk our financial future.
+High light – I had an interview for a possible position as a copy writer. They said that they thought the sample that I wrote for them was excellent! Maybe there is hope yet, that I will someday make a living doing what I love to do!
Tomorrow is Friday!! Yea!!! By this time tomorrow evening, we will be almost in Kansas City for the weekend! We all need some down time…some FUN down time!!
Be well!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
More whining...
Today was my first day at work after the fateful shower. It was a looooong day! By the time I got home...my entire leg was cramping. I ran a hot bath, grabbed a couple of magazines and some cherry juice...and relaxed for quite a while, in the tub! I feel much better now!!
I seem to be experiencing an odd phenomena though..it started a few minutes ago...my leg muscles are twitching like there is no tomorrow. I do believe they have a mind of their own! Or perhaps they are just tense from the day. At any rate...I think I had better sign off and take a muscle relaxer...and put my feet up for a bit!
Celebrate Friday!!!!
Be Well!
I seem to be experiencing an odd phenomena though..it started a few minutes ago...my leg muscles are twitching like there is no tomorrow. I do believe they have a mind of their own! Or perhaps they are just tense from the day. At any rate...I think I had better sign off and take a muscle relaxer...and put my feet up for a bit!
Celebrate Friday!!!!
Be Well!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
A bit better...
After 2 days of meds...I do feel a bit better. Tomorrow will be a rough day though. It still hurts to sit, and it hurts a LOT to stand after sitting for very long. So, I will stand frequently, and get through it.
Today has been a more productive day. I still have not taken the pain meds, I just see no sense in taking them if I don't need them. The pain that I feel is not good, but it is not so bad that I can't bear it. I am so susceptible to meds that it has taken all day for the last muscle relaxant to wear off enough that I don't feel 'hazy'. I cannot go in to work tomorrow...dealing with other people's money...in a fog.
I have been able to accomplish some writing today! It has been a while since I was able to just sit down and take the time to get in the proper frame of mind to work on the book. I have finished about three more chapters! I feel very good about that! I very much want to finish it, and every time I successfully complete any portion...it is extremely satisfying. At the end of the day...I doubt very much that I will ever find a publisher who is willing to take it on, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I've often wondered, why my brother and sister and I went through the things that we did as we were growing up. We were only children...all we wanted was to be loved, to be cared for, and to feel secure. The things that everyone wants. We were denied those things, often suffering brutality, and hostility that still haunts us. Over the years, I have had several opportunities to help people who have lingering pain from their own childhoods. Most of the time, the only help that I can give is to let them know that I have been where they are, and I understand, and can listen with compassion. I could not do those things, if not for my own experiences.
The season's of our lives are unpredictable at best. Just remember that without the storms, and clouds...the sunshine and rainbows would seem mundane.
Be Well!
Today has been a more productive day. I still have not taken the pain meds, I just see no sense in taking them if I don't need them. The pain that I feel is not good, but it is not so bad that I can't bear it. I am so susceptible to meds that it has taken all day for the last muscle relaxant to wear off enough that I don't feel 'hazy'. I cannot go in to work tomorrow...dealing with other people's money...in a fog.
I have been able to accomplish some writing today! It has been a while since I was able to just sit down and take the time to get in the proper frame of mind to work on the book. I have finished about three more chapters! I feel very good about that! I very much want to finish it, and every time I successfully complete any portion...it is extremely satisfying. At the end of the day...I doubt very much that I will ever find a publisher who is willing to take it on, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I've often wondered, why my brother and sister and I went through the things that we did as we were growing up. We were only children...all we wanted was to be loved, to be cared for, and to feel secure. The things that everyone wants. We were denied those things, often suffering brutality, and hostility that still haunts us. Over the years, I have had several opportunities to help people who have lingering pain from their own childhoods. Most of the time, the only help that I can give is to let them know that I have been where they are, and I understand, and can listen with compassion. I could not do those things, if not for my own experiences.
The season's of our lives are unpredictable at best. Just remember that without the storms, and clouds...the sunshine and rainbows would seem mundane.
Be Well!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Muscle relaxers...
I got up this morning intending to go to work...then get in to the doctor as soon as possible. By the time I was almost there...I realized just how much I was hurting. The parking lot may as well have been a billion miles across. I called and let them know that I was heading on over to the doctor instead.
After three exrays, the doctor pronounced me injured...but not broken! That was a relief! Although she said that a break would heal a good deal faster. She gave me a muscle relaxer, an anti-inflammatory, and a pain med.
Around 11:00, I took the muscle relaxer and anti-inflammatory, then laid back down on the heating pad. Marvin came in for lunch about 11:45, and by 12:30, I was fast asleep...and didn't wake up until after 4:00. I feel like I lost the day entirely. I had intended to get in some reading and perhaps some writing...neither happened.
My leg is already a bit better, so maybe tomorrow I won't need the muscle relaxer. I don't think I will take the pain med...I'm afraid I would sleep for the rest of the week.
It sounds like both Shane and Chas are a bit under the weather today as well. Both with stomach trouble...although not presenting in the same way. Hopefully...everyone will heal quickly and we will all be back on track in a day or two!
I think it would be unwise to sit much longer...so here's to better days!!
Be Well!
After three exrays, the doctor pronounced me injured...but not broken! That was a relief! Although she said that a break would heal a good deal faster. She gave me a muscle relaxer, an anti-inflammatory, and a pain med.
Around 11:00, I took the muscle relaxer and anti-inflammatory, then laid back down on the heating pad. Marvin came in for lunch about 11:45, and by 12:30, I was fast asleep...and didn't wake up until after 4:00. I feel like I lost the day entirely. I had intended to get in some reading and perhaps some writing...neither happened.
My leg is already a bit better, so maybe tomorrow I won't need the muscle relaxer. I don't think I will take the pain med...I'm afraid I would sleep for the rest of the week.
It sounds like both Shane and Chas are a bit under the weather today as well. Both with stomach trouble...although not presenting in the same way. Hopefully...everyone will heal quickly and we will all be back on track in a day or two!
I think it would be unwise to sit much longer...so here's to better days!!
Be Well!
Monday, September 04, 2006
Becky...
In her eyes, confusion, bewilderment, lost memories. Her voice quivers a bit. She no longer walks alone. She shows no fear. A good life behind her, no regrets. The time is drawing nigh. Somewhere deep inside…she is secure in the hereafter…she longs for release from pain, humiliation, and frustration. Her heart won’t let go…of so much. Darkness comes more often now. The terrifying monster of obscurity threatens to overtake her mind…but she fights the good fight…a valiant warrior. With all eighty pounds of her being…she struggles…minute by minute. Keenly aware of life…she laughs, and talks of the ‘future’ in terms of ‘when’…not ‘if’. She is the epitome of selflessness...clothing already given to the needy…birthday calendars left for him to use…pictures distributed…finances in order. She awaits her unfuture, with unbelievable grace.
Weekend wrap up...
It's been a good weekend overall! I needed the time away from work...but it has gone sooooo quickly! The visit on Friday/Saturday with my dad and step mom was good...although sad. The doctor says 4 - 5 months...I will be surprised if we have her that long. She is deteriorating rapidly now. Although my dad is physically healthy...he is an emotional wreck...as we all would be (and sometimes are). I wish we lived closer, so that I could run over in the evenings and help out, or just spend time with them...but, that isn't the case.
Those of you who know me...know that I am the queen of klutzville. I had an accident Saturday morning that reminded me just how coordinated I'm not! Suffice it to say that showers are slick! I had no idea that my leg could twist so far backwards without coming off! I have also become painfully aware that shoulders/arms/ hips...do not provide sufficient buffering for slamming against porcelain! I am doing better this morning...I can sit almost flat in the chair...but I still have a definite 'hitch in my git along'!
I missed church on Sunday due to the inability to sit/stand/walk without gasping. I did a bit of hobbling while I waited for Marvin and the kids to get home for lunch though...and baked a chocolate cake and ordered pizza. Good food and lots of laughter brightened the day!
Bringing us to the here and now! The last day of a long weekend! I so dread going back to work tomorrow...but that is the way of life. I have been writing more lately than I had been for a couple of months, and I am enjoying that...sometimes it takes the edge off of an otherwise excruciating week. I still have one poem out from my last round of submissions...as soon as that comes back, I will send out more. I know...I am a glutton for punishment! My file of rejections is growing exponentially! I guess there are two ways to look at that: (1) I am a total failure, or (2) as long as I am receiving rejections...I am at least trying! I prefer the later! Although...I am fully aware of the probability that at some point I shall have to concede to the former. I shall not go quietly into the night!!
I guess I will sign off now...my hiney hurts! I think I need to walk around a bit.
Be Well!!
Those of you who know me...know that I am the queen of klutzville. I had an accident Saturday morning that reminded me just how coordinated I'm not! Suffice it to say that showers are slick! I had no idea that my leg could twist so far backwards without coming off! I have also become painfully aware that shoulders/arms/ hips...do not provide sufficient buffering for slamming against porcelain! I am doing better this morning...I can sit almost flat in the chair...but I still have a definite 'hitch in my git along'!
I missed church on Sunday due to the inability to sit/stand/walk without gasping. I did a bit of hobbling while I waited for Marvin and the kids to get home for lunch though...and baked a chocolate cake and ordered pizza. Good food and lots of laughter brightened the day!
Bringing us to the here and now! The last day of a long weekend! I so dread going back to work tomorrow...but that is the way of life. I have been writing more lately than I had been for a couple of months, and I am enjoying that...sometimes it takes the edge off of an otherwise excruciating week. I still have one poem out from my last round of submissions...as soon as that comes back, I will send out more. I know...I am a glutton for punishment! My file of rejections is growing exponentially! I guess there are two ways to look at that: (1) I am a total failure, or (2) as long as I am receiving rejections...I am at least trying! I prefer the later! Although...I am fully aware of the probability that at some point I shall have to concede to the former. I shall not go quietly into the night!!
I guess I will sign off now...my hiney hurts! I think I need to walk around a bit.
Be Well!!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Ooooooooooveeeeer...the hump...
This has been a ‘not good’ day. I made two mistakes at work today…they were both minor…but none-the-less…they were there. There isn’t room for much error in this business.
I sometimes wonder if I am really cut out for the ‘human race’. I don’t seem to be able to settle down into a normal routine of contentment, instead…I am filled with resignation. My family life is the only good thing that I can see, and it is awesome! I have the most wonderful husband and kids that anyone could ever hope to have. But I cannot seem to find a work niche that I am happy with.
Time rushes by with terrifying speed. I see those around me enjoying their jobs…even committed to them. Meanwhile, all I can think of is being somewhere else. I feel restless. I know this isn’t normal…but then…what is ‘normal’? Who knows…certainly not me.
I am sorely tempted to do something bizarre lately. Although…it’s really not in my character. The last time I felt this way, I was at Wal-Mart. The kids had both moved out, and I felt at loose ends. On a whim, I decided to have the tops of my ears pierced…thank heavens the woman at the jewelry counter wouldn’t do it. She said she wasn’t able to pierce the cartilage…so instead…I had another set of holes in my lobes (I now have three in each ear). I don’t regret the holes in my lobes…but I think I would have regretted piercing the tops of both ears…it would have looked perfectly ridiculous (at least on me).
It would be so great to be one of those ‘spur of the moment’ people. Wouldn’t it be grand to get up off the couch in the middle of the Friday night news, pack a change of clothes, a razor and a toothbrush, jump in the car and drive somewhere fun…somewhere that you’ve never been before! Then spend the weekend just ‘being’ there…no schedule, no agenda, no itinerary.
I know that most of these feelings (except the work stuff) are very much related to my step-mom preparing to die. I see her mortality looming like a monster in the dark…and it is causing me to feel the reality of my own. Hence…the sense of restlessness, and the desire to make more out of every moment.
This too shall pass.
Be Well!
I sometimes wonder if I am really cut out for the ‘human race’. I don’t seem to be able to settle down into a normal routine of contentment, instead…I am filled with resignation. My family life is the only good thing that I can see, and it is awesome! I have the most wonderful husband and kids that anyone could ever hope to have. But I cannot seem to find a work niche that I am happy with.
Time rushes by with terrifying speed. I see those around me enjoying their jobs…even committed to them. Meanwhile, all I can think of is being somewhere else. I feel restless. I know this isn’t normal…but then…what is ‘normal’? Who knows…certainly not me.
I am sorely tempted to do something bizarre lately. Although…it’s really not in my character. The last time I felt this way, I was at Wal-Mart. The kids had both moved out, and I felt at loose ends. On a whim, I decided to have the tops of my ears pierced…thank heavens the woman at the jewelry counter wouldn’t do it. She said she wasn’t able to pierce the cartilage…so instead…I had another set of holes in my lobes (I now have three in each ear). I don’t regret the holes in my lobes…but I think I would have regretted piercing the tops of both ears…it would have looked perfectly ridiculous (at least on me).
It would be so great to be one of those ‘spur of the moment’ people. Wouldn’t it be grand to get up off the couch in the middle of the Friday night news, pack a change of clothes, a razor and a toothbrush, jump in the car and drive somewhere fun…somewhere that you’ve never been before! Then spend the weekend just ‘being’ there…no schedule, no agenda, no itinerary.
I know that most of these feelings (except the work stuff) are very much related to my step-mom preparing to die. I see her mortality looming like a monster in the dark…and it is causing me to feel the reality of my own. Hence…the sense of restlessness, and the desire to make more out of every moment.
This too shall pass.
Be Well!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Recap...
Weekend recap:
Saturday – This was the week for my Writer’s group meeting, so sleeping in wasn’t an option. I got up at 7:45, showered, and headed off at 9:30. The meeting was good! When we began our meetings, I wondered how long we would actually continue…it has been more than a year now and we have only missed a couple of meetings! I think that forming this group has been good for everyone involved…it keeps us writing! That may sound odd…but in these busy times, it is often very difficult to find/make time to write (even for those of us who love to do it). Knowing that there is an appointed time and place during which we will share our efforts…gives us an extra ‘push’!
After the meeting, I went grocery shopping. That part of the day was horrendous! A simple trip to the grocery store provides one with a disgusting picture of what our society has become! Somewhere along the way, manners, common courtesy, and parental responsibility have all gone by the wayside. As I pushed my cart through the aisles, I encountered several groups of children, running (some with a cart), yelling, and causing all sorts of chaos, and adults who were riding those motorized carts, with absolutely no regard for other shoppers. One in particular really ‘fried my rice’! She had driven the cart to the absolute center of the aisle…then she got off of it…leaving it parked in a position where no one else could proceed up or down the aisle…while she strolled along both sides of the aisle shopping. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh! By the time I got home…my mood was thunderous.
We put groceries away, then headed to TGI Friday’s for lunch! The food was great (I had the Tilapia), and the atmosphere was just what we both needed! After relaxing and chatting for over an hour, we drove to Newton in search of a rack for utensils for the kitchen. We didn’t find what we were looking for, but we did find a new blender, and some knick-knacks! Then we headed back home for a bit of house cleaning and preparation for Sunday.
Sunday – Sunday was a very good day! I actually found myself ready for church 1 minute early (instead of 5 minutes late)! The sermon was long, it seemed to go on forever…but that could have been just me. I have the attention span of a gnat, and my mind very often runs amuck. After church, the kids came over to the house for lunch! We had Rotel dip, taco’s, refried beans, and for dessert…smoothies and cheesecake! Yum!! We talked, and laughed all afternoon! It was wonderful!! Around 4:30, the kids left and Marvin and I spent the rest of the evening watching TV, then went to bed around 9:30!!
That brings us to the here and now…Monday, Monday, Monday. It seems like Monday arrives quicker than any other day of the week!! It is the most dreaded day of the week, the most depressing day of the week, and the most hated day of the week…but without it…we would never get to Friday!
Be Well!!
Saturday – This was the week for my Writer’s group meeting, so sleeping in wasn’t an option. I got up at 7:45, showered, and headed off at 9:30. The meeting was good! When we began our meetings, I wondered how long we would actually continue…it has been more than a year now and we have only missed a couple of meetings! I think that forming this group has been good for everyone involved…it keeps us writing! That may sound odd…but in these busy times, it is often very difficult to find/make time to write (even for those of us who love to do it). Knowing that there is an appointed time and place during which we will share our efforts…gives us an extra ‘push’!
After the meeting, I went grocery shopping. That part of the day was horrendous! A simple trip to the grocery store provides one with a disgusting picture of what our society has become! Somewhere along the way, manners, common courtesy, and parental responsibility have all gone by the wayside. As I pushed my cart through the aisles, I encountered several groups of children, running (some with a cart), yelling, and causing all sorts of chaos, and adults who were riding those motorized carts, with absolutely no regard for other shoppers. One in particular really ‘fried my rice’! She had driven the cart to the absolute center of the aisle…then she got off of it…leaving it parked in a position where no one else could proceed up or down the aisle…while she strolled along both sides of the aisle shopping. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh! By the time I got home…my mood was thunderous.
We put groceries away, then headed to TGI Friday’s for lunch! The food was great (I had the Tilapia), and the atmosphere was just what we both needed! After relaxing and chatting for over an hour, we drove to Newton in search of a rack for utensils for the kitchen. We didn’t find what we were looking for, but we did find a new blender, and some knick-knacks! Then we headed back home for a bit of house cleaning and preparation for Sunday.
Sunday – Sunday was a very good day! I actually found myself ready for church 1 minute early (instead of 5 minutes late)! The sermon was long, it seemed to go on forever…but that could have been just me. I have the attention span of a gnat, and my mind very often runs amuck. After church, the kids came over to the house for lunch! We had Rotel dip, taco’s, refried beans, and for dessert…smoothies and cheesecake! Yum!! We talked, and laughed all afternoon! It was wonderful!! Around 4:30, the kids left and Marvin and I spent the rest of the evening watching TV, then went to bed around 9:30!!
That brings us to the here and now…Monday, Monday, Monday. It seems like Monday arrives quicker than any other day of the week!! It is the most dreaded day of the week, the most depressing day of the week, and the most hated day of the week…but without it…we would never get to Friday!
Be Well!!
Friday, August 25, 2006
From hell...
Friday at last. Cloudy, heavy, thick with humidity and innuendo…both climatically and socially.
Lunchtime was a veritable disaster. I left work with no idea what I wanted to do…my first mistake. As I drove down Rock Road, I remembered Jason’s Deli, and a baked potato sounded good…so I turned in. I parked right in front of the door, went inside and got in line. I found myself behind ‘Paris and her sidekick’. There they stood…huge Louie bags over their shoulders…mandatory flip-flops, manicured, pedicured, Revloned, streaked, and fake baked. In no hurry at all….because they had all day to linger over lunch and spend ‘daddy’s money’ on expensive crap…they couldn’t decide what to eat. FINALLY, my turn came. I hurriedly ordered ½ a baked potato and a medium drink. Food in hand, I turned to the dining area to find that the only table available was straddling a pole…I took it. On one side sat two foreign men, discussing ‘hot women’ in loud tones…on the other side…ma and pa kettle, in town fur the day!
I shoveled in a spoonful of cheese covered baked potato…which turned out to be totally tasteless. I accepted it as part of this lunch hour from hell, and reached for my iced tea. One big gulp of tea almost caused a very ugly scene. The moment it hit my throat…it tasted like stale cigar smoke. My mind went into overdrive… those horrible stories about what the cooks in restaurant kitchens do to food before serving it (spitting in it…or the famous ‘fecal chili’) spun through my brain…out of control! I gagged as I imagined a cigar butt bobbing around inside the metal tea urn.
Unable to get the despicable image out of my mind…I trashed my lunch and left. Once in the car…I headed for the parking lot at Home Depot, where the Heavenly Snow trailer is parked. Glancing at my watch, I saw that I still had 30 minutes left. To my despair…Heavenly Snow is no longer open all day…they are now open from 2:30 – 9:00 p.m.! Good grief Charlie Brown! As I lamented the events of this day…I heard a ‘ding’…my gaslight had come on! “Fine,” I thought, “to heck with lunch…I’ll head to QT and get gas.” The precious minutes were ticking away rapidly by this point. Wheeling into QT, I realized that every stinking pump was backed up…all the way to the street! Gas was down to $2.59 a gallon! I frantically searched for a short line…there were none! There was no time left for lunch, and certainly no time for sitting in a long line at a gas pump! I drove out…past all of the anxious drivers…their eyes glazed over at the thought of saving all that money! At the last moment, I threw caution to the wind, pulled into the drive through at Braum’s and got a yogurt twist, which I slurped down as I drove. I got back to my desk with about 30 seconds to spare.
What a day!
Be Well!
Lunchtime was a veritable disaster. I left work with no idea what I wanted to do…my first mistake. As I drove down Rock Road, I remembered Jason’s Deli, and a baked potato sounded good…so I turned in. I parked right in front of the door, went inside and got in line. I found myself behind ‘Paris and her sidekick’. There they stood…huge Louie bags over their shoulders…mandatory flip-flops, manicured, pedicured, Revloned, streaked, and fake baked. In no hurry at all….because they had all day to linger over lunch and spend ‘daddy’s money’ on expensive crap…they couldn’t decide what to eat. FINALLY, my turn came. I hurriedly ordered ½ a baked potato and a medium drink. Food in hand, I turned to the dining area to find that the only table available was straddling a pole…I took it. On one side sat two foreign men, discussing ‘hot women’ in loud tones…on the other side…ma and pa kettle, in town fur the day!
I shoveled in a spoonful of cheese covered baked potato…which turned out to be totally tasteless. I accepted it as part of this lunch hour from hell, and reached for my iced tea. One big gulp of tea almost caused a very ugly scene. The moment it hit my throat…it tasted like stale cigar smoke. My mind went into overdrive… those horrible stories about what the cooks in restaurant kitchens do to food before serving it (spitting in it…or the famous ‘fecal chili’) spun through my brain…out of control! I gagged as I imagined a cigar butt bobbing around inside the metal tea urn.
Unable to get the despicable image out of my mind…I trashed my lunch and left. Once in the car…I headed for the parking lot at Home Depot, where the Heavenly Snow trailer is parked. Glancing at my watch, I saw that I still had 30 minutes left. To my despair…Heavenly Snow is no longer open all day…they are now open from 2:30 – 9:00 p.m.! Good grief Charlie Brown! As I lamented the events of this day…I heard a ‘ding’…my gaslight had come on! “Fine,” I thought, “to heck with lunch…I’ll head to QT and get gas.” The precious minutes were ticking away rapidly by this point. Wheeling into QT, I realized that every stinking pump was backed up…all the way to the street! Gas was down to $2.59 a gallon! I frantically searched for a short line…there were none! There was no time left for lunch, and certainly no time for sitting in a long line at a gas pump! I drove out…past all of the anxious drivers…their eyes glazed over at the thought of saving all that money! At the last moment, I threw caution to the wind, pulled into the drive through at Braum’s and got a yogurt twist, which I slurped down as I drove. I got back to my desk with about 30 seconds to spare.
What a day!
Be Well!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Stolen from Rich...just for fun!
Here are some things you may or may not know about me:
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1- Assistant Cashier/Compliance (admin assist)
2- Delivering phonebooks
3- Barmaid/bartender
4- Production line in mobile home window plant
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2- Miracle on 34th Street
3- Elf
4- It’s a Wonderful Life
Four places I have lived:
1- Wichita, Kansas
2- Arkansas City, Kansas
3- Winfield, Kansas
4- Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Four TV shows I watch:
1- America’s Got Talent
2- The Closer
3- 24
4- Everybody Loves Raymond
Four places I have been on vacation:
1- Las Vegas, Nevada
2- Los Angeles, California
3- Jacksonville, Florida
4- Orlando, Florida
Four of my favorite foods:
1- Chocolate
2- Potatoes (fixed any way)
3- Ice Cream (lactose free)
4- Cheesecake
Four places I would like to be right now:
1- At Barnes and Noble signing my best seller
2- At home doing anything (except vomiting)
3- In my attorneys office, figuring out how to best proceed with my 30 billion dollar lottery winnings (which I won…of course…with a ticket given to me as a gift).
4- Leaving on a jet plane for a month long vacation to a sunny beach. Somewhere with clear, blue water… fine, clean, white sand…tall palm trees…a private cabana…and an endless supply of yogurt smoothies and crushed ice drinks (nabs of course).
Be Well!
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1- Assistant Cashier/Compliance (admin assist)
2- Delivering phonebooks
3- Barmaid/bartender
4- Production line in mobile home window plant
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2- Miracle on 34th Street
3- Elf
4- It’s a Wonderful Life
Four places I have lived:
1- Wichita, Kansas
2- Arkansas City, Kansas
3- Winfield, Kansas
4- Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Four TV shows I watch:
1- America’s Got Talent
2- The Closer
3- 24
4- Everybody Loves Raymond
Four places I have been on vacation:
1- Las Vegas, Nevada
2- Los Angeles, California
3- Jacksonville, Florida
4- Orlando, Florida
Four of my favorite foods:
1- Chocolate
2- Potatoes (fixed any way)
3- Ice Cream (lactose free)
4- Cheesecake
Four places I would like to be right now:
1- At Barnes and Noble signing my best seller
2- At home doing anything (except vomiting)
3- In my attorneys office, figuring out how to best proceed with my 30 billion dollar lottery winnings (which I won…of course…with a ticket given to me as a gift).
4- Leaving on a jet plane for a month long vacation to a sunny beach. Somewhere with clear, blue water… fine, clean, white sand…tall palm trees…a private cabana…and an endless supply of yogurt smoothies and crushed ice drinks (nabs of course).
Be Well!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Hump Day...
I know this is called hump day…but if feels more like ‘insurmountable mountain’ day. This entire week seems to be dragging in the most horrific way!
Here’s a recap of the week thus far –
Monday – Long, very busy day at work. Short handed and chasing our tails. Mimi’s after work to have my nails soaked off and a new set put on. Dinner at Red Rock…THAT was yummy! By the time we got home, it was late, and we were both pooped! Talked to mom and step-dad – and dad and step-mom. The news was not good for my step-mom…she is increasingly exhausted, and the decrease in her speech skills and memory is marked, even on the phone.
I couldn’t sleep, so I took an Excedrin PM about 11:00…woke up on Tuesday groggy.
Tuesday – Another long day at work…though they all are lately. We went straight home after work and I fixed dinner there for a change. Penne pasta w/sausage, buttered peas, and cornbread. Marvin had lunch with the pastor today, and the result was interesting. He was asked to preach the early service on Sept 10, at our new church…in view of a possible call (at a later date) as associate. He will also preach the ‘reunion’ service on Oct 1, at our old church. I think that God has given him a time of rest…and may now be calling him back to service. We will continue to pray about it and see what develops. The highlight of my day was a call from Shane about a mini Yorkie! Apparently, a friends, friends, sister…has one that she needs to get rid of in order to relocate! The price is right, and if it is housebroken…we will definitely make an offer! I am very excited! I love dogs and have missed having one!
I had a bad backache when I got home from work, and it hung on all evening. I don’t normally have backaches…so that is very unusual. I spent the evening leaning against a heating/vibrating pad. No Excedrin PM tonight, but…not much sleep either.
That brings us to today…Wednesday – Another long day…it is 11:45 a.m., and it feels like it should be 5:00! Lots of scuttlebutt around. Not sure where lunch will be yet…or if it will be. I don’t feel particularly hungry right now…my stomach hasn’t been very happy for a week or so. I may try the new deli down the street…or I may go to the mall and walk.
2:06 – In an effort to calm my stomach…I opted for a baked potato at the deli. My co-worker has gone home sick, and one of the broker’s is ill. Not a good sign!!
3:51 – Back from the bank. Everything has slowed down again…HURRY 5:00!!
Be Well!
Here’s a recap of the week thus far –
Monday – Long, very busy day at work. Short handed and chasing our tails. Mimi’s after work to have my nails soaked off and a new set put on. Dinner at Red Rock…THAT was yummy! By the time we got home, it was late, and we were both pooped! Talked to mom and step-dad – and dad and step-mom. The news was not good for my step-mom…she is increasingly exhausted, and the decrease in her speech skills and memory is marked, even on the phone.
I couldn’t sleep, so I took an Excedrin PM about 11:00…woke up on Tuesday groggy.
Tuesday – Another long day at work…though they all are lately. We went straight home after work and I fixed dinner there for a change. Penne pasta w/sausage, buttered peas, and cornbread. Marvin had lunch with the pastor today, and the result was interesting. He was asked to preach the early service on Sept 10, at our new church…in view of a possible call (at a later date) as associate. He will also preach the ‘reunion’ service on Oct 1, at our old church. I think that God has given him a time of rest…and may now be calling him back to service. We will continue to pray about it and see what develops. The highlight of my day was a call from Shane about a mini Yorkie! Apparently, a friends, friends, sister…has one that she needs to get rid of in order to relocate! The price is right, and if it is housebroken…we will definitely make an offer! I am very excited! I love dogs and have missed having one!
I had a bad backache when I got home from work, and it hung on all evening. I don’t normally have backaches…so that is very unusual. I spent the evening leaning against a heating/vibrating pad. No Excedrin PM tonight, but…not much sleep either.
That brings us to today…Wednesday – Another long day…it is 11:45 a.m., and it feels like it should be 5:00! Lots of scuttlebutt around. Not sure where lunch will be yet…or if it will be. I don’t feel particularly hungry right now…my stomach hasn’t been very happy for a week or so. I may try the new deli down the street…or I may go to the mall and walk.
2:06 – In an effort to calm my stomach…I opted for a baked potato at the deli. My co-worker has gone home sick, and one of the broker’s is ill. Not a good sign!!
3:51 – Back from the bank. Everything has slowed down again…HURRY 5:00!!
Be Well!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
A lovely way...
A lovely way to start the weekend! I slept until 10:30! I have been exhausted for a week, with frequent headaches and migraine meds. I needed some extra rest!
We had a wonderful evening Friday! The kids came over for dinner (lasagna and garlic/cheese toast), then we watched "RV" with Robin Williams! It was hilariously stupid, and we all laughed until we cried! After the kids left, Marvin and I went for a late night swim! The water temperature was perfect, and lightening in the distance (moving in the opposite direction) added to the ambiance! It was delicious and refreshing! Although I slept well, I woke up around 3:00 with another headache. I thought about more meds, then opted for more sleep...it seems to have worked!
I don't know what the day will hold, I have no 'plan'! I am just happy to not be at work, or in the middle of a crisis of any sort.
I will sign off for now, and take a long shower, give myself a pedicure, and go from there!
Have a great day!
Be Well!
We had a wonderful evening Friday! The kids came over for dinner (lasagna and garlic/cheese toast), then we watched "RV" with Robin Williams! It was hilariously stupid, and we all laughed until we cried! After the kids left, Marvin and I went for a late night swim! The water temperature was perfect, and lightening in the distance (moving in the opposite direction) added to the ambiance! It was delicious and refreshing! Although I slept well, I woke up around 3:00 with another headache. I thought about more meds, then opted for more sleep...it seems to have worked!
I don't know what the day will hold, I have no 'plan'! I am just happy to not be at work, or in the middle of a crisis of any sort.
I will sign off for now, and take a long shower, give myself a pedicure, and go from there!
Have a great day!
Be Well!
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