April 12

So…just an observation today…I have been sort of “waiting” for the feeling of stress to begin to abate. I thought that I was beginning to do a bit better until yesterday evening. By the time I got home at 6:00…my back hurt so badly that I was almost in tears. I took a muscle relaxant and it is much better today.

However, I have been walking etc.…in an effort to destress…and it wasn’t until this afternoon that I realized that relaxing is going to be a conscious process. I was walking downtown (on my lunch hour) and as I walked along my back began to hurt…and my chest tightened up. It was then that I realized that my fists were both balled up tightly, my stomach was clenched as stiffly as possible, and my shoulders were drawn forward and down in a half hunched clench.

I slowed my walk…then consciously began to tell myself to relax...I unclenched my fists, unclenched my stomach…and relaxed my shoulders. For the rest of my walk, I remained aware of my body…kept repeating to myself…”relax…relax”.

By the time I reached my building…the pain in my back had subsided…and I actually felt better.

Who knew?!