Tuesday tirade...

It’s finally here…Election Day! I am definitely interested in the candidates…and I hope all of mine are elected (yes…I can say all of MINE…because I voted)! Moreover…I am anxious to see the mud slinging…the endless political phone messages glutting my answering machine, and the ‘second grade mentality’ commercials…STOP!! If there had been one candidate, whose sole message addressed the issues (as I see them of course)…without any backstabbing, gloating, grandstanding, mudslinging or pontificating…I would have voted for him. Just a simple, “My name is Otis Fudpucker…I am pro life, pro family, pro democracy, pro death penalty, I have a brain, I do possess at least a modicum of common sense, I do not lie, cheat, or steal…and I will stand against those who do.” It would have been a done deal! Enough…thank heavens it’s almost over.

Thanks to the moron whose bright idea it was to ‘fall back’ (daylight savings time), my evening walk is now in total darkness…at 6:00 p.m.! What’s the deal with that? What earthly good does an extra hour of light in the MORNING do anyone? I can certainly drive to work in the dark…and I would rather have it stay dark until NOON…than get dark so early in the evening! This time of year depresses me anyway…but its effect is only worsened by depriving me of sunlight during the only time of day when I can ordinarily take advantage of it! So…to the HIICODST (head idiot in charge of daylight savings time)…WAKE UP DUMMIE…WE ARE NOT NOCTURNAL!

The world is out of control. Newscasters spew forth vitriolic rhetoric in the guise of reporting, casting dark shadows of doubt and betrayal on those foundational things that we hold most dear. One man’s idiocy and moral ineptitude DO NOT doom the entire Christian population to extinction. Child molesters and murderers are released into our society…then the justice system seems shocked and appalled when they molest and murder again. The real solution is to mandate that any future offenses of those pieces of slime who are released…be paid for by the idiot who released him. Thus…if a murderer or a molester becomes a repeat offender…the judge/attorney/doctor…who deemed him ready to walk among us again…would share equally in future guilt and punishment. By the way…I’m certain that Otis would be for this!

Lastly, as my tirade comes to an end…I would like to thank the neighbor down the street for unknowingly lifting my spirits…when I needed it so badly last night. We had walked along in silence for about a mile…the result of an earlier disagreement…which had been resolved…but was still causing that 'kicked in the gut' feeling. Although it was only 6:20…the darkness was thick…and heavy around us. The rhythmic sound of our footfalls, and the occasional barking dog split the night at odd intervals. I blinked back hot tears and wished for yesterday…or tomorrow…anything but now. Out of the darkness…a twinkle caught my eye. As we neared the front of the house down the block…we were caught totally off guard…by Christmas! The big picture window was filled with a glorious, sparkling, fully dressed tree! This magical scene spilled out into the yard, with lights, and ornaments. It was a small display…but so timely! I paused, not wanting to miss any detail, barely breathing, I whispered, “It’s beautiful!” My mate shook his head and rolled his eyes at the very thought that they already had 'that stuff' up. I smiled again…and thanked them…silently.

Be Well!