It’s over…Thanksgiving has come and gone in a flurry of activity! Here’s a recap –
Thursday – Dinner at Chas’s house! All of the Ark City crew…was invited. We ended up with 11 for the day…not a bad count when you consider how many showed up last year (0)! The meal was spectacular with ‘melt-in-your-mouth turkey’, parmesan garlic smashed potatoes, Stuffing, gravy, and all the trimmings! We ate until we could eat no more, then the men moved to the living room for football on the big screen, and the women gathered around the main table for an afternoon of conversation. As usual, the talk was lively and varied…with lots of laughter! At one point however, my sister made some comments that could not have possibly caught me more off guard…about the past. I have always felt that the three of us were very close growing up…I have always felt a special bond with both of my siblings. However, it seems that she did not feel the same. I now wonder if perhaps my brother shares her lack of those feelings. That could explain a lot these days. I have been saddened in recent months at what seemed to be a lack of any desire (on their part) to stay in contact…to maintain a relationship. I lay awake almost all night on Thursday…her words echoing in my ears. At first I cried…then I replayed the years in my mind…trying to understand how she could not have felt that same connection. Perhaps the closeness that I felt was due to the fact that I was the oldest, the caretaker, and the protector…a little girl playing the part of the mommy. Different people deal with situations in different ways, so perhaps they simply dealt with the ugliness of our childhood by detaching their hearts…while I searched desperately for someone to love and be loved by. I truly don’t know. A part of me hurts deeply…I feel like I have lost something, but I guess it isn’t possible to lose…what you never had. I know that I will continue to consider these things…to try to figure it out…maybe for the rest of my life. One more kick in the gut from the past.
Friday – We celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary on Friday! 33 years, married to the same wonderful man! If I had it to do again…I would do it just the same! We spent the day Christmas shopping, then around 8:00 p.m.; we went out to Botanica and took the holiday light tour…wrapping up the evening at the Hotel in Old Town! It was a wonderful day!
Saturday – More Christmas shopping, then home to unpack, and put up the outdoor Christmas lights! In the evening, we made a Blockbuster run, and picked up The Da Vinci Code (watched it Saturday), and Ice Age, The Meltdown (watched it Sunday). Both movies were very good…Ice Age was hilarious, and Da Vinci Code…was good…but disturbing. I am well grounded in my faith…so to me it was simply a movie…fiction. I shudder to think of the impact that it could have on someone not aware of Biblical truth…someone searching for truth.
Sunday – Church, lunch with the kids, then home to finish those outdoor Christmas lights! By evening, we were both exhausted. We made a late run to return the movies to Blockbuster, then drove through the ‘Lights on the Lake” display at Heartspring. Finally, a hot shower, warm PJ’s, and some IM chat, while Marvin beat me at Deal or No Deal!
28 shopping days until Christmas!
Be Happy!
3 comments:
I think that you came to the correct conclusions about Aunt Doe. You all three handled the trauma of your childhood differently - you mothered, Uncle Toby fought back & Doe slept - thereby avoiding as much as possible. However close you each perceived your relationship at the time, you have been very close (and far apart) during the intervening years. They both love you very much - don't ever doubt that! Those feelings and the relationships that you had back then haven't gone anywhere or truly been lost - they are still a part of you, they were just perceived differently by Doe. When all else fails, remember that we're talking about a woman who thought that her friend's dog was a "pomeranium" and once assaulted a plate of fettuccini at Fazoli's.
Sorry to hear that someone hurt you with words and I hope that you don't spend too long dwelling on it - life is too short and perhaps she didn't say it as she meant it.
I've changed my blog name - for reasons that will be apparent - www.st-barnabas.blogspot.com
CJ
Thanks for your comment on my blog - today wasn't as bad but still bad enough! I've moved again - www.coastal-dreams.blogspot.com - hopefully that should be it now.
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