1. Two year olds, and government auditors never get tired.
2. Ice cream tastes better out of the carton…with the freezer door open…during a commercial.
3. The best dogs…are the mutts that wonder into the yard, hungry and tired.
4. In our lives, we will have thousands of acquaintances, but only a few true friends…and most of them will be family.
5. If it looks like a duck…and walks like a duck…it will probably poop on the carpet.
6. If someone you know, always comes up smelling like a rose…even though they treat people like crap…they may have one of those car deodorizers stuck up their hiney with that big stick.
7. When grandma said “Life isn’t fair!” she wasn’t kidding.
8. If you smell something funky…check your own pits first.
9. Placing rubber “doggie doo” in the container with your lunch is the best way to prevent co-workers from eating your food!
11. Don’t paint in the nude…there are just some places that you can’t scrub with turpentine.
Be Well!
2 comments:
You are the only person I know of with experience in #11....
I wonder if #9 would work with students. We had one a few years ago who would get into the faculty fridge at school and eat our secretary's lunch. I will say the whole thing was quite gratifying to a few of us, even though it was wrong...
OK. I'm being plain mean right now.
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