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Friday, March 25, 2016

March 25 – glioblastoma multiforme progression

Today is my dad’s 80th birthday. We did not think that he would see this day! He appears to be having a good day today…albeit very quiet and sleeping a lot. He has no realization of what day it is…but he has received birthday gifts through the mail…and his sister-in-law baked him a chocolate (his favorite) birthday cake. Unfortunately, he is no longer able to swallow the cake…but perhaps he will get a taste of the frosting.

 Every once in a while…a bit of humor comes at just the right moment. This happened yesterday…my step mother has been giving him small amounts of baby food, and Ensure…which he has taken successfully so far. She had been giving him vanilla Ensure…and yesterday she changed to strawberry. He tasted it…and made a bad face…then turned his head away. She laughed and said…”Sorry honey…does the strawberry taste bad?” After several seconds…he very haltingly replied…”it….tastes…like….” then stopped and seemed to be struggling to think. A few more seconds passed and he suddenly got hold of the word…”shit!” She added chocolate syrup to it…tried it again…and he smiled and swallowed it!
Yesterday marked six months since mom passed away…it still feels so fresh…like it was yesterday. I miss her so much! There are so many things that I wish I could talk to her about…so many things that I wish that I had said to her. I thought the pain would get easier…but so far it has not. I still think about her every single day…and the tears still come. I am struggling today…

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