An old friend...

I received word yesterday that an old friend…had died. Actually…that isn’t true. He did not ‘die’…he drove himself to a local hospital…parked his car in front of it…and blew his brains out. I hadn’t seen him in several years…but he was a friend to my brother and me. I remember him as a warm, fun loving person…a very ‘laid back’ kind of guy…who would give the shirt off his back to anyone who might need it. He never worried about anything really…just accepted life and moved on down the road.

As I pondered the events that precipitated his death…the inequity of life really hit me. He had apparently been in an accident (at work) several years ago, and had injured his back to the point that he was disabled. I don’t know the financial intricacies of his family…but I do know that his wife was employed at a local nursing home, and that they routinely took in foster children. They had no health insurance. A few months ago, he had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance…a 14 mile trip. The charge for that 12 minute ride…was $600.00. That comes to about $50.00 per mile. Being unemployed and uninsured, they were having trouble paying the bill. Apparently, the weight of the debt, and the constant hounding by the hospital, coupled with other financial concerns…was too much.

He parked in front of the hospital, which had been hounding them for the money, wrote them a note, and then shot himself. I’m sure that in some confused way…he felt as though he would be ‘getting even’ with them. Probably not only for hounding him…but for charging such a ridiculous amount of money for the service as well. Unfortunately, they won’t give a crap. Hospitals routinely overcharge for every freaking thing they do/provide…from $50.00 for a Tylenol…to $120.00 for a $10.00 Ace bandage. I understand marking something up…to make a profit and pay the bills…but please. Regardless of his death…they will continue to overcharge…to hound those who can’t pay because they are truly not able to pay…all the while…ripping off the insurance companies of those who are insured…! NOTHING WILL CHANGE.

Meanwhile, his wife, two children, grandchildren…and extended family are left with wounds that will never heal. Not only will they deal with never seeing him, or hearing his voice, or feeling his touch again…but, they will forever wonder if they should have seen the ‘signs’ of his depression. If somehow they did or said something that helped drive him to that last desperate act. They will wonder if they should have, or could have said or done something to keep him alive. They will feel responsible for his death…and the guilt will eat away at them for the rest of their lives. It will affect every aspect of their lives from this point on.

I’m at a loss for words…or even feelings…except supreme sadness for his family. I won’t publish their name here…but I would ask you to pray for them….God knows who they are.