The Two Stooges Mail a Package....

What a day! This morning started out slow…then…bam! It hit like diarrhea at 3 a.m.! It all started about 12:45…by the time it ended at 3:10, we had done 32 bond ,order entry tickets. It was all so fast and furious (about half of them weren’t set up yet), that I am terrified to find out (tomorrow) what kind of error rate we had. Thus far…only one MSRB report has resulted…and that was just to confirm what seemed, to them, to be a questionable date…but it was correct. By 9:00 a.m. Friday…we will know for sure. If there were errors…there will be a conference in the aisle…with the ever popular ‘now ladies…we cannot make errors!’ speech. If there are no errors…if we did everything perfectly…not one word will be said. Sad huh?

Lunch was hurried today…I took a faulty toner cartridge back to the re-packer and picked up a new one, then went over to a packaging store to have my dad’s father’s day gift boxed, and mailed to him. I still had about 20 minutes of lunch time left, so I stopped at Target and bought a skirt (yes…it is my third ‘compliance’ skirt this week), and a pair of slides (gasp)…I have been having shoe withdrawal. I got back to work with 5 minutes to spare!

The trip to the packaging store was rather amusing…it could have been entitled…”The Two Stooges Mail a Package.”

I walked into the store, and went directly to the card rack to select a Father’s Day card to enclose with the gift, then took my place in line. While I waited, I scribbled a quick note inside the card, then put it into the envelope and sealed it.

My turn came, and I handed the man behind the counter a three foot long, wooden airplane propeller, with a clock in the middle. He took it to a table, backed away a bit and sized up the situation. I watched as he selected a long, skinny box, then took the propeller and the box to the bubble wrap dispenser. After some speculation, he decided on the bubble wrap with the huge bubbles and began to wind it around the propeller like there was no tomorrow.
“That sucker is never going to fit into that box.” I thought as I watched.
Having used at least two yards of the stuff…he finally taped the edges down, picked up the box, and attempted to stuff it in. Twice, he looked up over the top of his glasses to see if I was watching, then he laughed one of those “I’m such an idiot” laughs (which I actually invented), then he took the whole thing to the shrink wrap table and girdled in all that bubble wrap with shrink wrap! The look of victory on his face was priceless! After several minutes of pushing and tucking, the propeller was in the box! He then cut the box down in length (it was about 8 inches too long), and taped the whole thing shut, with massive amounts of 3” wide tape.

Time for the label now…

“Name?” he asked.
“V….. S……..” I replied, then spelled it out for him.
“Address?” he asked.
“Mine?” I asked.
“Yes…” he said. So I gave him mine.
“To…” he answered. So I gave him my dads address, then I gave him my dad’s name…spelling it out also.
“Who’s that?” he asked.
“Uh…my dad.” I replied…wondering what business it was of his.
“That address should be in our database…” he said.
“Excuse me…?” I said.
“Well…your name was here…” he mumbled, staring at the screen.
“Okay, I’m not sure what we’ve done…but my address is…..and his is…..and I want to send this to HIM.” I offered.
“Ahhh…” he replied, “I see..okay.”
Finally finishing the label, he announced the cost, I wrote him a check, and as I handed it to him he saw the envelope in my hand.
“Did you want that to go with the package?” he asked.
I was struggling not to double over laughing at the ridiculosity of this situation.
“Yeah…could you put it inside?” I asked…my face almost straight.
He turned to look at the finished product…in all it’s taped up glory…and I have to hand it to him…he did good!
“Sure…” he said, “not a problem!” He then picked up the box, slit the end open, stuffed in the envelope and taped it all up again!

Tomorrow sometime, my dad will receive the ugliest package ever sent…with enough tape around it to secure all the noses on Mt Rushmore, and enough bubble wrap to protect his entire house…the next time it hails! Happy Father’s Day!!

Be Well!