Thank You...

A long, hard battle came to an end, during the early morning hours on Thursday, March 22. Becky took her last breath, surrounded by those who loved her. Gathered by her bedside, the soft hum of the oxygen machine in the background, we held her hands and spoke to her as she struggled for each breath. It was not an easy passage, by any definition. We had hoped that when the time came, she would simply fall asleep…peacefully….but that was not to be. She is free from pain now…for that we are grateful.

In the days that followed, we have experienced many highs (mostly induced by sleep deprivation), and many lows. We have dealt with horribly rude florists, and extremely compassionate funeral directors. We have met family that we did not know we had, and we have seen the best and worst sides of those that we were already acquainted with. We have smiled when we wanted to cry…and shed many tears at inopportune moments. Now the business of life has begun again…and we are charged with going forward.

We have received so many expressions of sympathy, from so many people…and to simply say “Thank You” doesn’t seem to be enough. We have been uplifted and comforted by kind messages and gifts from Kentucky to the UK…and we appreciate and treasure each expression of sympathy…and its giver! So…though simple words are not enough to convey our feelings…Thank You…to each and every one!

I am including a poem for Becky today…we will miss you!

For Becky…

Into our lives you came
An unexpected friend…
Too soon, we let you go
Our time is at an end.

You took each one
Accepting us…just the way we came
No expectations of big change
But loving each the same.

The years have come and gone now
And in the recent past…
We’ve watched you stand so brave and strong
As you fought so hard and fast.

We thank you for the love and light
You brought into our lives…
It was for us…you fought the fight
You wouldn’t have it otherwise.

We’ll miss you more than words can say
We’ll treasure precious years…
Into the Father’s arms today
We let you go…with tears.

Jody

Be Well

A long road home...

It's been a long weekend. I left work at 2:00 on Friday afternoon, so that I could get the car serviced and leave for Coffeyville early. Everything was on schedule. As I sat at Quaker State, waiting for the car, I began to get a mild migraine. The car was ready in about 30 minutes, then I went across to Dillons to get a couple of things to take with us, and on home to take some Tylenol and lay down for a bit while I waited for Marvin to get home. The gas tank was full, the engine serviced, and the luggage loaded, so as soon as he hit the door, we headed back out and hit the road. As we drove through Augusta, we decided to pull through McDonald's drive through for Cokes and a bite of supper to eat on the road. The line was short, and we were back out on the street in just a few minutes, sitting at the stop light, waiting to go again. I leaned forward to get some fries out of the sack (which was sitting on the floor between my feet), and suddenly the world exploded. I remember a loud bang, then my body snapped back and slammed into the seat. I was still trying to process what was happening, when I was thrown forward...until my seat belt locked, then there was another loud bang and I was slammed back into the seat again. The mild migraine was now worse...and I seemed to be disoriented. I knew that 'something bad' had just occurred...but honestly...I couldn't quite get a handle on what the heck it was. I'm told that I screamed something (not repeatable) out loud...but I don't remember doing that. As I held onto my head (I'm not sure why), I looked over at Marvin, and he was getting out of his seat belt and telling the man from the car in front of us that he thought we were okay. I watched as he got out and spoke to the guy in front of our car, and as he opened my car door...I realized that I was shaking from head to toe. He asked if I was okay, and I replied that I wasn't sure. I asked if he was okay, and he said he was. After that...it's a bit hazy for a few minutes. We eventually moved from the street to the curb and sat down on the legs of a portable sign. The paramedics came, I ended up on a backboard, in an ambulance. Several hours, a head and neck CT, and three prescriptions later...we were on the road again. Neither of us was hurt...only shaken up. We finally arrived in Coffeyville around 10:30 p.m. The car was drivable, and doesn't look bad at all...although...it will probably be about $3000.00 in damage (thank heavens the guy that hit us was insured). We still aren't sure how the guy behind us, ended up slamming into us...but he did. He was driving a minivan, and apparently, the bumpers lined up just right to avoid a much worse outcome! I have no idea how his van looked, but I'm told that the car that he slammed us into had almost no damage. We both feel extremely blessed...it could have been sooooooo much worse!

Saturday proved to be a very rough day. Becky was in terrible pain most of the day, and we struggled to help alleviate what we could. It is very difficult to help someone...who can't tell you exactly where the pain is. After some trial and error, we finally deduced that her head might be the main source of discomfort. Blocking the light with a washcloth over her eyes and a blanket covering the window, then a double dose of Morphine...all finally combined to bring her a brief respite. Her breathing was labored, her muscles jerky, and her eyes rolled back in their sockets. It was a sad and frightening day. I did not expect that she would make it through the night on Saturday. We finally managed to get her to swallow some meds for the inflammation in her brain, and by this morning, she awoke without the pain, and her eyes were normal again. There are so many terrible things going on in her body...that it is impossible to say that she was doing well this morning...but comparatively...she was so much better. I have no idea how much time she has left...but I expect it is a matter of days now. Her food intake has almost stopped, and her fluid output is substantially decreased.

The whole weekend has reminded me, just how fragile life is. In the blink of an eye...everything can change. Hug the people that you love as much as possible...and make the most of every minute! I hope that the coming week is uneventful...even boring.

Be Well!

A beautiful beginning...where did it go?

This morning dawned with a beautiful sunrise. It has gone downhill from there.

When we were nervous, and couldn't sit still...my grandma used to say that we were "wound tighter than a nine day clock." That's what I am tonight....wound tighter than a nine day clock. It's been a long, hard week...and after talking to my dad this evening, I'm afraid it may get longer and harder. Becky has almost stopped eating altogether...not even taking fluids now, except for an occasional sip...which she chokes on. For the past 24 hours, she has moaned almost constantly...the morphine doesn't seem to help. He has rushed in several times today to pull her to a sitting position to stop the choking. The nurse is supposed to be in yet this evening...but so far she hasn't shown up. Dad can't tell whether she is in pain...or simply making involuntary sounds...he wanted my opinion...he held the phone close to her, my heart broke as I listened to her moan/cry.

We have made the journey to Coffeyville every Saturday morning for weeks now...but we have decided to go early this week...we will head out tomorrow. For some time now...I have felt peace each weekend, as we packed and as we drove down...tonight that peace is gone...I am filled with worry and dread, and I am fighting back tears. I hope that my emotions are simply a result of an exhausting week, and my ever present lack of sleep...but this feeling seems to be growing by the minute.

As much as I know that it is selfish to want her to rally again...and live...it is very hard to let her go. Emotions are in total conflict and turmoil now...for all of us. It is the way of life...and death.

Taste of Spring...

Sunshine and warm breezes! After putting in the first half of my workday (10:00 - 2:00), I came home, ate a bit of lunch, tried out my birthday present ,the cool glider with the table in the middle (thank you guys), talked to my dad a bit, then went for a walk! The pond was magnificent...sunshine bouncing off of a million tiny ripples. I walked an extra half mile or so, because it was so nice outdoors! During the last block of my trek...I was joined by a tumbleweed...which, oddly enough, kept pace with me the rest of the way! If you aren't from Kansas...tumbleweeds used to be everywhere...blowing across the prairies like solitary wanderers! These days they are rare...but I think they are cool! I took this picture of it as I hit the garage door button to go inside.

Council meeting tonight...and it looks like it could be a long one! The agenda is 4 pages...and packed with potential controversy. I wish it were another night...I'd love to spend the evening on the deck, just enjoying this taste of Spring!

Be Well!

Weekend at a glance...

I can't believe it is Sunday evening! The weekend has once again flown by in a whirl of activity.

Saturday morning - We arose at 6:30 a.m., and by 8:20 we were headed across town to pick Chas up. We decided to take 54-400 to Coffeyville again. It seemed like an easy deal. We took this same route last week and ended up getting lost 3 (yes three) times, so we assumed that we would now know the way. About an hour and a half down the road, I dozed off in the back seat, awaking sometime later...to the sound of conversation and laughter. As I looked out the window..I assumed that we were driving through Independence. Never assume anything. As we passed a large brick building...I noticed the lettering on the front "Parsons Public Library". I've never been to Parsons....(well...I guess I have now)! Anyway, I leaned forward and asked "Are we on Parsons?" This query drew gut busting laughter from Marvin and Chas. "Ok," I went on, "Why are we in Parsons?" (More laughter) It seems that we missed a rather significant piece of signage on the highway...and took a wrong turn. So...after a potty stop at Burger King, gas, directions and Diet Coke at a convenience store, we were "on the road again"! After approximately 3 hours and 15 minutes, we arrived at our destination...which should have been approximately 2 1/2 hours away. On the upside...we saw some lovely old 'federalist style' brick homes! After arriving, we ate a quick bite of lunch and Marvin and Dad went to the flying field to fly planes for a couple of hours, and Chas and I kept Becky company. The afternoon began solemnly. We had been told that she had not been awake for more than a few minutes, or spoken in several days. We sat on opposite sides of her bed, chatting, and to our surprise, she not only opened her eyes, but spoke to us! Over the course of the next several hours, we chatted with her, watched a movie and two shows with her (which she watched, understood, and commented on repeatedly). She maintained this level of alertness until close to 10:00 p.m. Saturday night, then awoke Sunday morning...not only talking and comprehending...but moving her arms about (her right one had not moved in about 6 weeks, and her left one had not moved in three weeks). She not only had her wits about her...but her sense of humor shone through several times as well. I have no idea what all of this means. She is barely eating anything...but is drinking lots of fluids.

Sunday morning - Betty came to stay with Becky, and we headed to church. The sermon was short, and the people were friendly, as always. My dad is the lay leader of the church, and conducted his portions of the service nicely, and Chas enjoyed watching the 'cutest little elf like' pastor deliver his 3 points and a prayer. Shortly after we got back to the house, Becky's sister and brother-in-law popped in for a visit, then we loaded up the car and hit the highway once again. We stopped briefly in Ark City, to check on Marvin's mom, and my mom and step dad, and finally arrived at home a bit after 5:30 p.m.

We are exhausted. We left dad in good shape for the coming week...the house is clean, the laundry done, and the dishes put away. None-the-less, it will be a long, stressful time for him. Not only is he dealing with Becky's illness, but the recent robbery has left him skittish...and fearful.

We just finished some leftovers for supper, Marvin started the laundry while I was heating things up, and we are settled in for "Deal or No Deal". The coming week is shaping up to be a tough one. This is Council meeting week...and the Agenda is very long. I'm hoping for a solid 8 hours of sleep tonight.

Be Well!

Grandma and Nana...

My prayers are with CJ and her Nana. Reading about her illness...brought back great memories of my own grandma! I miss her!

Grandma’s House

Grandma's house is a magical place
A place I love to be
Inside grandma's wrinkly skin
Is a little girl just like me.

There's a big, round mirror
In grandma's room
And an ivory vanity
Where rose bud's bloom.

We sit right there
Like two best friends
On the pretty pink chair
And we pretend...

We adorn ourselves
With all manner of things
Pearls, and brooches,
Beads, bangles and rings.

We put on hats
And fancy, high-heeled shoes
And capes and shawls
In reds and blues.

When we're done
Dressed to the nines
Away we go...
With the queen to dine!

Chocolate milk
In a fine tea cup
On peaches and cream
We soon sup!

To the parlor then
And the big old chair
Alice In Wonderland
Waits for us there.

Copyright©2005 by VSchoonover. All rights reserved.

Be Well!

Odd day...

Well, today has been an odd day! It began with Chas having major plumbing problems...which have resulted in a ginormous hole being dug in her back yard and at least $800.00 in repairs. Then Chas, Shane, Marvin and I met for supper...and Shane arrived with a horrendous cold! However, while we were waiting in the parking lot of the restaurant for the guys to arrive...the doctor called Chas to tell her that her biopsy results were fine! Thank you Lord!

I'm calling it a day now!

Be Well!

A different questionare...

1. First name and middle initial: Vicky J.
2. Were you named after anyone? Yes
3. Do you like your handwriting? Yes...usually
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Shredded ham
5. Do you have kids? Yep! The two most fabulous kids on the planet!
6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? I'm not sure...
7. Do you have a journal? I have two journals
8. Do you use sarcasm a lot? As often as possible
9. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes
10. What is your favorite cereal? Life Cereal
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Usually
12. What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate
13. What is the first thing you notice about people? Whether they laugh
14. Red or pink? Pink
15. What is your least favorite thing about you? My appearance
16. The last thing you ate? A Hershey's Kiss
17. What are you listening to right now? The wind...I love it
18. Favorite smells? A summer morning
19. Eye color? Blue
20. Last book you read? Stephen King's "Cell"
21. Favorite sound? Laughter
22. Furthest you have been from home? California
23. When were you born? A long time ago
24. Where were you born? In a Galaxy far away
25. Do you think that you are strong? No
26. Do you have brothers and sisters? How many? Yes...I'm not sure how many...they keep popping up! Apparently, one of my dads was a busy guy.
27. What do you want to be when you ‘grow up’? Someone who matters to someone
28. What is the meaning of life? The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body
29. What do you do with your pocket change at the end of the day? I put it in a plastic pig...or a plastic replica of a building in Vegas...or a small black box on the dresser
30. What is the first thing you do when you get home from work? Take off my clothes
31. Do you dream when you sleep? Always
32. . Do you dream when you are awake? Always
33. Any extra toes? Not anymore
34. Ever seen a ghost? Yes
35. Ever seen a celebrity? If so…who? Yes...that guy from Crossing Jordan...the Aussie.

Be Well!

I scanned the pond yesterday for any sign of the little fuzzy critter from earlier in the week...to no avail! The temperature was 70 degrees and 8 geese swam lazily about...while this little guy sunned himself. It was an absolutely beautiful day! Unfortunately, the temperature right now is 34 degrees...with a predicted high of only 45 degrees. A light dusting of snow fell while we were sleeping! Kansas weather is so odd! Sometimes it is hard to believe that Dorothy really wanted to return! Wouldn't it have been fabulous if that twister had set them down in Florida!

Be Well!